How to Balance Your Independence and Your Marriage
It’s possible to strike a blissful balance between your independence and your marriage. You can find a way to make them work together. This will create a stronger relationship that makes both you and your spouse feel fulfilled.
Try the following strategies to find what works for you:
1. Discuss your need for independence. A relationship suffers if one person feels trapped and isn’t able to share ideas. This leads to resentment and anger building up to a dangerous level. You can avoid these issues by talking about your needs with your partner.
· It’s important to have an open dialogue about your desire for more independence. First, reassure your partner that you still love them more than ever and want to spend time with them. However, you need space and time to grow as an individual.
· You can share that you need to develop your own hobbies or activities outside of the home and relationship.
· You can still do activities as a couple, but your own interests don’t have to be neglected.
2. Plan time with your partner. Marriage doesn’t create the obligation to spend every second with your partner. Plan to spend some time with your partner and other times for pursuing your other interests.
· This will help you develop your independence and feel freedom without hurting your marriage.
3. Find time alone. The time you spend alone can help nurture your independence.
· Do you crave a few hours with a good book and no distractions? Do you want to take a long hike alone with your thoughts? These types of activities can help you feel free and give you space from your partner.
4. Find time for friends. Spending time with your friends can be a fun way to find your independence again.
· You don’t have to force your partner to attend every chat, meal, or event with your friends. It’s normal to spend some time without your spouse while you visit with your friends.
5. Give each other room to handle challenges. It may be tempting to act as a savior and try to fix all of the issues in your partner’s life. However, it’s crucial to give each other space to handle difficult situations on your own. Your partner may not want you to interfere. You can still support each other, but you can also give each other room.
6. Enjoy your own hobbies. You don’t have to share every hobby with your partner. Although you can enjoy hobbies such as skiing or hiking together, you can also find other activities to do on your own.
· Consider the hobbies you liked before marriage. Did you create your own paintings in a small studio at home? Did you take cooking lessons at a local school or learning center? Do you miss the dance class you participated in before you got married?
· You can do hobbies on your own without hurting your partner. First, discuss your need for a solo activity and share why it’s important to you. Then, create a separate list of hobbies you can do as a couple, so your partner doesn’t feel neglected.
You can create a balance between marriage and your desire for independence. It requires time and effort from both sides of the relationship, but that time and effort can actually bring you closer together.